Why Are They Getting Divorced In Marriage Story? - Weddingsinathens.com | 2024 (2024)

Marriage Story is a divorce comedy film directed by Noah Baumbach, which has recently hit Netflix. The movie follows Charlie and Nicole Barber as they navigate the challenges of separation and divorce. The film explores the universal topics of love, marriage, and divorce, as well as the personal experiences of couples who are getting divorced. The film also explores the concept of abuse, which can lead to a final straw for many marriages.

The movie’s ending works that way, with the couple trying to work through the terms of a separation with a mediator. The film also touches on the insidious nature of divorce, as well as the decline in the divorce rate since 2000. In 2000, a total of 944,000 divorces and annulments occurred.

Reese Witherspoon and her husband Jim Toth announced their divorce after 11 years of marriage. Charlie wants them to stay living in New York, while Nicole wants to live permanently in Los Angeles. Custody over Henry also causes inevitable conflict, but both decide that a divorce is the best thing for their relationship and decide to keep it civil.

Marriage Story succeeds in showing both sides of a separation without taking sides itself and highlights many of the flaws in the US divorce legal system. It suggests that two characters love can still exist, albeit in a new shape, and the movie ends with that.

By not letting us know the exact reason why they end up having a divorce, Marriage Story captures all the painful and difficult moments of a divorce, from the raging arguments to the moments you get along again. The film is a refreshing and honest exploration of the insidious nature of divorce and the challenges faced by couples in their journey.

Did Charlie cheat on Nicole in the Marriage Story?

As the film progresses, the cracks in their relationship begin to unfold, be it in the uncomfortable silence or in the hesitancy in expressing their thoughts and feelings to each other. In one scene, Nicole breaks down in front of her lawyer, Nora (Laura Dern), as she talks about how she fell in love with Charlie, how he made her feel alive, and how she wanted to spend some time in Los Angeles where she grew up and he would always say yes but they would never actually go. How he cheated on her with a colleague and how he never acknowledged her aspirations. As Charlie struggles to find a lawyer because most of the lawyers have been already approached by Nicole and Nora, he also struggles financially. He is scared of losing custody of their son, Henry (Azhy Robertson) and he wants Henry to know that at least, he fought for him. After these scenes, one understands their need for a separation despite loving and caring for each other. It becomes clear that their separation is not a result of one fight or one incident that happened a couple of days ago but is rather a culmination of many different things that just kept piling on, year after year.

Unlike a relationship, marriage involves the state and the state has laws. However painful the divorce is, Nicole and Charlie have to go through the legal proceedings, where things are so blown out of proportion that it only reminds them of the terrible things about each other. The proceedings fail to see them as humans with needs, desires, fears and insecurities. Their relationship becomes a public discourse, their personal ups and downs now open for discussion and debate. After these legal proceedings, Charlie and Nicole realise how it is draining them, both emotionally and financially. During a confrontation, the two furiously list all things they dislike about each other and Charlie tells Nicole that he wants her to die. But as soon as he says that, he realises he doesnt mean it and starts crying helplessly. This is the first time we see Charlie breaking down.

Growing up, I felt that love was enough to sustain any relationship and that loving someone also meant admiring them, acknowledging their efforts and respecting them. I thought that love includes all of these things and much more. Marriage Story challenged this idea of love including respect and admiration by default. In one of the most heart-wrenching scenes of the film, Charlie reads Nicoles letter, in which she says that she can never stop loving him even though it didnt make sense, given their separation. Charlie also loves Nicole but he does not admire her as a professional the way she does. The film also points out the fact that two people can have different ideas about love. Charlie sees Nicole as a part of himself whereas Nicole wants to be her own person, independent of Charlie.

What is the conflict in the Marriage Story?

In Marriage Story, the custody dispute was at the heart of Nicole and Charlies conflict, and it did become personal as seemingly inconsequential and cleverly placed moments become arguments for their lawyers to seek custody.

In the first article of this series, I explored the value of adopting a strategic approach when integrating issues into the stories we tell. In this second article, I wanted to highlight the key messages embedded inMarriage Story to demonstrate how and why it was done so effectively.

From a strategic storytelling perspective, I have a pretty good grasp of the key messages that should be embedded into a story exploring separation and divorce after producing a factual project for Big Picture Storytelling last year,Family is Family. These are the key messages that I think will affect audiences’ conscious views and subconscious thinking in relation to conflict resolution, separation and divorce.

If separating couples (or anyone embroiled in conflict) can make the effort to communicate constructively, it can have a profound influence over the process and the outcome. This often requires a third-party mediator (or a form of Alternate Dispute Resolution) to help parties understand each other’s perspectives and opposing narratives.

Whose fault was it in the Marriage Story?

Why its Charlies fault. He cheated. He was wrapped up in his work to the detriment of both Nicoles career and her sense of self. He didnt temporarily move to LA when they were married – though did agree to a hiatus in Europe.

Shes honest, while Charlie does fib a little. She does more of the childcare. She has to contend with her own family, as well as her ex – though this is also a luxury that Charlie (whos estranged from his own parents) cant enjoy. Shes essentially kind and loving; suckered by Nora when shes at her most vulnerable and the lawyer is at her most rapacious. Late on, she concedes she did the wrong thing in proceeding with lawyers, though the way that confrontation plays out goes some way to vindicating her decision.

Plus, shes the victim of something bigger than just this story. The first scene earning rounds of applause in the cinema is Nicoles blindside against the injustice of the pressures put on mothers but not on fathers. Its calculated, articulate, cathartic – and valid.

Why did the marriage end?

While every marriage ends for a variety of reasons (which may differ depending on which partner you ask), the “why” behind a divorce can often be traced back to the same fundamental issues that end any relationship, from poor communication styles to a loss of trust in the wake of betrayal.

When you or your partner begins to see your marriage in a primarily negative light, youre headed for trouble, says Shirin Peykar, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Sherman Oaks, CA. It can eventually become impossible to imagine your marriage improving, which in turn makes you feel hopelessness and more apt to dismiss, minimize, or even reframe positive interactions as negative, she explains.

So, whether youre worried about a seven-year itch, feeling disrupted by empty nest syndrome, or simply feel like youre growing apart, it helps to know what it takes to make a marriage last as well as what might bring yours down. Read on for nine of the most common reasons married couples end up calling it quits, according to relationship experts—and real women who have been there.

What was the point of the Marriage Story?

Marriage Story shows how the sinews of a relationship remain, as the bones –the emotional connection that provides the real structure – melt away.

This couple have a shared life, with a child and a mutual passion for theatre, but ultimately what they have not taken care of is their emotional connection.

Like the Paul Simon song “Slip Sliding Away,” we let this core element in our relationships just…slip. We take emotional connection for granted or dismiss its importance. But this connection – the attuning to each others softer feelings and longings – is the core of love.

This kind of sharing FEEDS the emotional bond that is love. In our EFT couple therapy sessions and in my book Hold Me Tight, my team and I show just how to help people bring this connection alive and hold onto it!

Do they end up together in Marriage Story?

When Marriage Story opens, it shows Charlie and Nicole in mediation for marriage troubles. They are encouraged to write down the things they like about one another and remember why they fell in love in the first place. Nicole decides she cant read her list out and leaves. At the end of the film, after the viciousness of their split and custody battle has been dealt with and the divorce granted, Charlie goes to visit them and Henry shows his father his mothers list of the things she liked about him. As Henry reads it aloud to him, Charlie cries. Nicole watches this from over his shoulder. Its the moment of emotional catharsis that feels wholly earned after having watched this pair disintegrate under the personal, financial, and societal pressures put upon them by the divorce. While they never stopped loving one another, the end shows them finally able to like each other once more, a simple act that both of them took for granted.

After warring over custody arrangements with Henry and their differing coastal residencies, Charlie and Nicole are now both in California, after Charlie announces hes taken a job in the state, for which Nicole is very proud of him. The major problem with the split was Charlies refusal to leave New York, but after all that fury, hes relaxed enough to accept that there is a world outside of his home city. By the movies end, Nicole and Charlies relationship is strong enough that she offers to let him have the night with Henry despite it technically being her arranged custody time with him. The basic numbers of days and money that their lawyers scrambled over are inconsequential compared to seeing their kid and one another be happy, receiving the love and attention they need whenever the occasion calls for it.

The final moment of Marriage Story is an especially tender scene that hammers home the key themes of the narrative. As Charlie moves to take Henry out for the evening, Nicole calls out to them. She runs over, ties Charlies loose shoelace, then says goodbye. Its a remarkably simple gesture – and also the second film of 2019 where Johansson ties someones shoelaces, following Jojo Rabbit – but one that speaks volumes to Nicole and Charlies relationship, past and present. One of the things Charlie notes about Nicole that he loves is that she cuts his and Henrys hair. This moment of intimacy and trust carries through their marriage from beginning to end. Even in their lowest moments as a pair when the resentment is at an all-time high, she still offers to cut his hair. Their instincts are always to care for one another, despite the legal battle that has erupted between them. Post-divorce, Nicole still wants Charlie to be safe and secure, hence her noticing something as easy to overlook as a loose shoelace. Those intimacies dont dissolve just because the marriage did.

Why did Nicole divorce Charlie?

After moving, marital conflicts begin to arise. Charlie wants them to stay living in New York, while Nicole wants to live permanently in Los Angeles. Custody over Henry also causes inevitable conflict. Both wanting different things, Nicole and Charlie decide that a divorce is the best thing for their relationship, and decide to keep it civil. Communicating from coast-to-coast, Nicole and Charlie attempt to keep their divorce as amicable as possible, but eventually, the process escalates from couples therapy to Nicole taking legal action.

“Marriage Story” was nominated for six awards at the 77th Golden Globe Awards, and Laura Dern, who plays Nora Fanshaw, Nicoles lawyer, won Best Supporting Actress. It has also been nominated for the awards: Best Actor and Actress, Best Picture, Best Supporting Actress, Best Original Music Score, and Best Original Screenplay at the 92nd Academy Awards, Critics Choice Awards, and other acclaimed film award ceremonies.

The films major appeal that earned its nominations is its realism. Unlike most films about divorce that skim over many of the crucial details of the process, “Marriage Story” exposes the complexity and depth of a divorce. The slower pace of the film captures how divorce can be a long, grueling, and emotionally draining process for couples.

Why did they get a divorce in Marriage Story?

Marriage Storys ending works that way. In the movies first scene, we meet Charlie and Nicole Barber, who are trying to work through the terms of a separation with a mediator; Charlie is smug and Nicole is stubborn. Two scenes later, she moves across the country and vows to start a life with herself at the center, not her husbands directing work. Via vicious attorneys, the couple exchanges barbs and jabs. Their fundamental fight is over custody — whether their son, Henry, should live in New York with his dad or Los Angeles with his mom — but there are other festering wounds resulting from breaches in loyalty and perceived power imbalances. Nicole says she was never really happy with Charlie, an admission that seems so totally opposite of his conception of their marriage. He fusses over her ideas about them as a couple like theyre a bad-faith read of a good text.

In the end, like most other Baumbach movies, someone flawed — usually intellectually sharp but emotionally obtuse — stops trying to bend every single other person or thing to their will. Charlie doesnt ever explicitly take responsibility for the problems in his marriage (does he still think that Nicole should be upset not that he f*cked another woman, but that he had a laugh with her?), but he does tacitly understand that his marriage, like his divorce, doesnt have a clear hero or villain. For an audience of his close friends, he sings “Being Alive” — breathlessly, desperately— at an open mic. Baumbachs script times our sympathy: Charlie was a bad husband in marriage and divorce, but we cant help but feel bad for Adam Driver (big!) standing at a mic asking for someone to hold him too close, to sit in his chair. Cut to: a few months later, when hes just arrived in Los Angeles. He tells Nicole that hes taken a fellowship at UCLA to direct two plays.

“Oh,” Nicole says, her face colored by surprise. “Thats great.”

Do they get divorced in the Marriage Story?

Using the first payout of his fellowship grant, Charlie hires Jay. The case moves to court, where Nora and Jay argue aggressively on behalf of their clients, leading to a series of character assassinations; Nora highlights Charlies emotional distance and past infidelity, while Jay exaggerates Nicoles drinking habits and threatens criminal action for hacking Charlies emails. Meanwhile, Nicole and Charlie remain friendly out of court and share time with Henry, who is increasingly annoyed with the back-and-forth. Disillusioned with the legal process, the pair decide to meet in private. However, their initially friendly discussion turns emotionally vicious; Nicole claims that Charlie has now fully merged with his own selfishness, and Charlie wishes death upon her. He then breaks down in tears and apologizes as Nicole comforts him. Soon after, they agree to relax their demands and reach an equal agreement to finalize the divorce. However, Nora negotiates slightly better terms for Nicole behind her back, causing Nicole to realize her true colors.

A year later, Charlies play enjoys a successful Broadway run, while Nicole has a new boyfriend and is nominated for an Emmy Award for directing an episode of her television series. Charlie informs Nicole that he has taken a residency at UCLA and will be living in Los Angeles full-time to be closer to Henry. Later, he discovers Henry reading Nicoles list of things she loves about Charlie that she had written down during counseling. Henry asks Charlie to read it aloud to him, and Charlie does so, becoming emotional as Nicole watches from afar. After a Halloween party that evening, Nicole offers to let Charlie take Henry home even though it is her night. Charlie walks out to his car carrying Henry, and they part ways once more.

• Scarlett Johansson as Nicole Barber
• Adam Driver as Charlie Barber
• Laura Dern as Nora Fanshaw, Nicoles lawyer
• Alan Alda as Bert Spitz, Charlies first lawyer
• Ray Liotta as Jay Marotta, Charlies second lawyer
• Azhy Robertson as Henry Barber, Nicole and Charlies son
• Julie Hagerty as Sandra, Nicoles mother
• Merritt Wever as Cassie, Nicoles sister
• Wallace Shawn as Frank
• Martha Kelly as Nancy Katz
• Mark OBrien as Carter Mitchum
• Matthew Shear as Terry
• Brooke Bloom as Mary Ann
• Kyle Bornheimer as Ted
• Mickey Sumner as Beth
• Robert Smigel as Mediator
• Rich Fulcher as Judge Neil Tilden
• Lucas Neff as Pablo
• Tunde Adebimpe as Sam

Why did Charlie cheat on Nicole’s Marriage Story?

Charlie maintained that he only stepped outside the marriage bed because they hadnt been intimate in over a year, forcing much of the blame on her. In reality, his own self-absorption with his theatrical reputation had pushed her away, to the point that being close to him in that way was wholly unappealing.

Charlie readily admits that Nicole is a wonderful mother because she loves to play with their son Henry. Any time of the day that Henry wants to hunker down with his bag of figurines, she gladly lays on the floor and helps him act out his most imaginative fantasy adventures.

However, she also has a bad habit of rewarding him unnecessarily, such as for doing things he otherwise doesnt want to do. When he doesnt want to spend time with Charlie, Nicole whispers shell get him a present if he complies. Charlie knows that long-term, this sort of reinforcement will be negative for Henrys growth when he doesnt always get a prize for doing something.

Why is the main conflict in the story?

All stories feature some kind of conflict that the characters must face and overcome. This not only drives the story forward but also gives readers an insight into the main characters actions and motivations. A good piece of fiction writing will be full of unforeseen tensions, competition, and power struggles.